Great Songs By Shit Bands (#1)

It may not have escaped your attention that there are literally thousands of bands out there in the world who can justifiably be described as "shit". Some reach utterly inexplicable heights of success due to what one can only presume is abject stupidity on the part of the record-buying public (step forward, My Chemical Romance), without even looking like writing anything that could be loosely classed as listenable. Some, on the other hand, slog away producing turd after turd, and then, sometimes - they release a track of such brilliance it's hard to believe they were so crap in the first place. This, the first of what will be a regular series, focuses on those moments of wonder which were recorded by bands who should at any other time just be tortured to death to save us the misery of having to listen to any more of their deluded nonsense.

First up is the very track that made me think of running this series in the first place. The not-so-mighty Feeder shot to fame in 2001 with the astonishingly inept "Buck Rogers" single (complete with such lyrics as "Drink cider from a lemon-lemon-lemon-lemon" - or something). Risible as that song was (and still is), it sold by the hatful. To who, I know not - hopefully nobody I've ever met though. Four years earlier though, they released a rather better album by the name of Polythene which included one track, "Suffocate", which is a thing of pure beauty. Four-and-a-half-minutes of sweeping emotion, it remains an utter enigma - how did it come from the same band? How? Listen, and judge for yourself...

Download: Feeder - Suffocate

Now then, if you thought "Buck Rogers" was fucking irritating, then you'll bite your own fingers off at the gruesome memory of "You're Gorgeous" by Babybird. On the back of Britpop, even my arse could have had a Top Ten hit (had it only been able to pick up a guitar) and as a result of this, even the word "gorgeous" suddenly seemed appropriate for use in a mainstream indie hit. Fact - it isn't. It sounds shit. Babybird fans will try and tell you that the whole thing was desperately ironic, but poke them in the eye and say "NO!". Ironic it was not - utter bollocks it most certainly was.

Thankfully Stephen Jones (the one-man Babybird - pictured) did redeem himself a couple of years later with this next track, "Take Me Back" which bore absolutely no resemblance to gorgeousness whatsoever. Instead, it's a dark and disturbing six minutes of songwriting genius which I never tire of hearing. And now it's your turn.

Download: Babybird - Take Me Back

This last one (for now) is a bit of a cheat. I don't really think Stereophonics have always been a shit band, as such. In fact, their first two albums (Word Gets Around and Performance And Cocktails) aren't far short of indie-rock classics. HOWEVER. That was a big however. Following those two near-flawless albums, something happened (in a kind of a Be Here Now sort of a way) and Stereophonics became, overnight, The Worst Band On The Planet. Was it Kelly Jones' nauseating ego that did it? His hairdresser? Or did they just "do a Noel" and think you could fart out any old garbage and still go platinum? Whatever it was, they've never recovered. By way of a reminder that even shit bands might once have been fucking awesome, here is the 'Phonics ode to a departed friend, Local Boy In The Photograph, from their 1997 debut. It's got heart, and big bollocks - something sadly lacking from their later work.

Download: Stereophonics - Local Boy In The Photograph

That's it for now. Sorry for the big gap - back sooner next time.

Enjoy...